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My Recovery from Bulimia

by nina on April 14, 2011

recovery from bulimiaI have recently noticed that I have not spent much time writing about my recovery from bulimia. This was one of the worst stages of my eating disorder and one that sped up the process to my eventual rock bottom.

What It Was Like

My bulimia started shortly after I lost all control over my anorexia and began binge eating and compulsively overeating in a way that did not seem humanly possible. This was quite often done in secret, but there would be times when people would catch me out and make comments about the massive amounts of food that I was able to consume.

The overeating and constant binge eating was so unbearable that I needed a way to deal with it, and at the very least to stop the huge weight gain that I was experiencing.

So in comes Bulimia to the rescue. I read everything I can about how to do it, what to eat, what not to do and every other possible sick and unhealthy tip that I can find. I would never recommend this to anyone. It does not work. All it does it further fuel and empower the bulimia, binge eating and weight gain. In order to get true recovery from bulimia you need to be rid of all of these unhealthy behaviors and triggers.

The Symptoms and Struggle

Te bulimia lasted on and off for about 3 years. Sometimes it would subside if I was on a rigid eating program or really working with a support group, but there was never a real sense of freedom. The monkey was always on my back, just waiting for the right moment, the right mental state and the right moment of weakness to strike again.

Anything could trigger off my bulimia – a happy event, a relationship breakdown, stress at work or a promotion. There was no direct link so it was very difficult to understand and treat it. One thing that I did connect years later was how much dieting, restriction and rigid eating plans had to do with it.

Ending Bulimia and the Diet Obsession

Once I made the connection between the dieting mentality, the constant restriction and total obsession with “healthy” eating, my real recovery from bulimia started. I realized that I was stuck in a starve-binge-purge cycle and in order to stop it we had to start at the cause – the dieting and starving.

Recovery from Bulimia

My recovery from bulimia goal was always to be a “normal eater”. To not worry about food, weight loss, calorie counting and constant adding and subtracting of every calorie gained vs. burned. I wanted complete freedom.

I embarked on the program of becoming a “normal eater” or intuitive eating as it is more commonly known.

Here are the main things that I did:

  • Stopped counting calories
  • Started slowly eating food that I likes
  • Talked to other “normal eaters” about what they eat
  • Got rid of the scales
  • Reduced my exercise obsession
  • Stopped reading unhealthy websites relating to eating disorders
  • Stopped viewing weight loss sites and magazines
  • Challenged my thoughts with visualization of recovery
  • Practiced daily affirmations about complete recovery from bulimia
  • Increased my focus on my true interests and goals
  • Practiced alternative coping skills such as calling people, writing, meditating
  • Developed faith that complete recovery from bulimia is possible

My ultimate goal was to be completely free of all the obsession, planning, mental preoccupation and physical acting out through binge eating and purging. I wanted to get back in touch with my body and eat intuitively without any guilt or fear of food that I had banned for so long.

Almost 5 years later this is exactly what I have – complete freedom from bulimia and the ability to eat what I want, when I want with zero shame or guilt. I never think about food until I am hungry and I eat exactly what my body is asking for.

I want to share with you all that COMPLETE recovery from bulimia is possible. You can live with freedom and not just be “managing” it until the next bout.

P.S. Please drop me a line if you have any comments or questions. I love hearing from you!

 

P.P.S You can also download my detailed strategy on how I achieved Complete Recovery from Eating Disorders.

Nina Vucetic

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Marlena Moore July 10, 2011 at 7:41 pm

I came across your post after having looked at “skinny” pictures on Google. I have been struggling with Bulimia for 4 years now and I have been in treatment for 6 months. I need more help that I thought I did. The monkey that is on my back is not wanting to come off. Do you have any advice? I don’t want to live like this anymore. Thank you.

Reply

nina April 29, 2011 at 3:42 am

Hi Cheyne,
Yes its a completely useless weight loss system! I gained more weight than ever when I was trying to binge and purge.

The main things that I did were what I mentioned in the post. Dropping the diet mentality was priority number 1.

Here are the main things that I did:

* Stopped counting calories
* Started slowly eating food that I likes
* Talked to other “normal eaters” about what they eat
* Got rid of the scales
* Reduced my exercise obsession
* Stopped reading unhealthy websites relating to eating disorders
* Stopped viewing weight loss sites and magazines
* Challenged my thoughts with visualization of recovery
* Practiced daily affirmations about complete recovery from bulimia
* Increased my focus on my true interests and goals
* Practiced alternative coping skills such as calling people, writing, meditating
* Developed faith that complete recovery from bulimia is possible

Nina

Reply

Cheyne April 22, 2011 at 10:14 am

I have read so many things and tried so many times to battle my bulimia and it’s getting to a point now where I don’t know what to do. It’s not a successful weight loss regime which is why I hate it even more. Even worse is that it is destroying me as a person and affecting my health, relationships and studies. In the morning, I have all the best intentions to beat it, but come midday, those intentions are down the drain. What do you do when you feel defeated by the “bad” food that managed to sneak its way in after trying so hard not to let it? How can I stop? I feel like the only way I can is with someone constantly watching over me, but I want to be able to do it by myself. I appreciate any suggestions you have.

Thank you so much for your time

Reply

Johanna Kandel April 15, 2011 at 6:07 pm

For more information about eating disorders, please log on to http://www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com, and for a great book about living beyond your eating disorder, please check out, “Life Beyond Your Eating Disorder.”

Reply

nina July 5, 2011 at 7:49 pm

Thanks Johanna!

I actually do have this book and its great – full of very useful tools!

Nina

Reply

nina May 23, 2012 at 4:58 am

Thanks Johanna!!

I love your book – you have some amazing tools in there

let me know if you would like to do a guest post!
More proof that complete recovery IS possible!!

Love Nina

Reply

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