Weekly Q & A Video Series – Eating Disorder Questions
I have a weekly Q&A Tuesday answering ALL of your Questions about Eating Disorder Recovery…
Check out the YouTube channel with OVER 100 Videos packed with questions, answer, special training and resources…
Now you gotta help me out and post ALL of your questions!
Here are some of the common eating disorder questions that I get asked. Please feel free to send in your eating disorder questions in the comments section below!
You can also use the contact form if you wish to remain anonymous…
You can also send through any topics that you would like more information on.
You can ask about anything related to eating disorders, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, compulsive overeating, purging or anything else that you would like more information and advice on.
Sample Questions…
How can I push those voices out of my head that tell me to micro-analyze everything food? How do I conquer the voices that tell me that I better get on that scale, I better count up my calories for the day, I better punish myself on that treadmill for 2 hours to undo all that I have done for the day? How do I push those voices out that tell me to take laxatives, vomit, or do all those horrible and punishing things to myself?
Once you begin to just eat normal things, things that you like and you don’t over exert yourself with punishing exercise, your body will be satisfied and the thoughts will take care of themselves. The disorder lives out in the behavior that is just self defeating – starving and purging only to follow it up with a major binge that you cannot control. Once you begin your body will know that there is more food tomorrow, food that you like, and the next day and so there is nothing to fear or to crave.
Q. How do I settle myself down and tell myself that I can have just a bite of that wonderful brownie, and I will be just fine? I always find myself shoving 10 in my mouth because “tomorrow I am going to start being good and go on that diet once and for all”. I’m sure you know how that works out.
A. You can start by trusting that if it worked for me, and has continued to work for over 2 years, then it can work for you. If I can have brownies and still not gain weight and not be obsessed, then the same path is available to you.
I can absolutely give you a rock solid guarantee that the brownie does NOT make you fat. It’s the binge eating and restriction and purging that make us put on weight and feel depressed and miserable.
I don’t even really eat “healthy” food all that much. I just don’t like salads or vegetables. Sometimes I get fruit and I really like it, but generally I will never opt for the “safe” foods that I was ALWAYS eating before.
I never feel bloated because I know when I am full and I physically can’t eat anymore. I don’t think about what I have eaten during the day – ever. I never wake up with those nasty food hangovers. I also don’t deviate from the weight I am at. I don’t know what that figure is, but I am sure that its normal and my clothes fit me in the same way every day no matter what I have eaten.
I hope that helps you to challenge the ideas in your head about what “eating right” means. I think the only right way to eat is to stick to what you like, whenever you like it. Our bodies are very intuitive and have an amazing ability to heal even after years of abuse.
Now over to you! Post your questions and stay tuned for the weekly Q&A Series…
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Nina 
{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }
Hello nina..
I just want to know is exercising triggers the eating disorder
Cuz I started my recovery journey 4 weeks ago and I avoided to exercise so I can connect more with my body and know when I’m hungry. So today I did a gentle biking and some toning but I felt really hungry afterwards and it felt like I lost this connection with my body and found it hard to know if I’m full or not.. Do u think I should avoid working out in the early stages of my recovery
Hi Nina, I’m well on my way to recovery but I still struggle with being obsessed with my weight. Thoughts like “how do I fat wearing this?” “Has my stomach gotten smaller from intuitive eating yet?” Are a daily thing for me. And these thoughts lead to dieting which leads to binging. You know the drill. You you please give me some strategies on how to eliminate the weight obsession?
<3
Thanks
Hi Nina.. i really want to thank you so much for your efforts to help us with this really natural healthy way of living and focusing on the process to a complete freedom of all the negative thoughts that feed the distorted mind which im totally relating to. i just bought your E-book days ago and i’m finding it really helpfull to develop a better way of eating and thinking, the methods and strategies are so useful i can say. Nina you are truly an angel, and i do believe that i can have a complete recovery just by imagining myself that im already there it gives me chills and i get so excited on whats next and how interesting my life would be without this monkey on my back. Nina keep doing what ur doing, you are an inspiration to millions and i believe that you saved my life from a slow painful death. and the fact that u shared your experience with us shows how generous and such a lovely spirit you are. i’m now working on improving myself into becoming an intuitive eater and trying to get stronger than my ED each day really thanks to you Nina. i will carve my own recovery path. i am my own GURU and i will lead myself to success.
one last thing i gained so much weight lately because of the ED almost 20lbs in 5-6 months not mentioning the other 10lbs gained before that. so i have a fear of not dropping the access weight naturally i dont want to go back to dieting and i dont feel comfortable with my weight right now thats my main concern actually. i know its a process to recovery but im just so scared to be fat again. and shall i not weigh myself ever during the first months of the recovery?
Nina i have a q for you : i am, training for the marathon (and i am also training to intuitive eating
) and i dont know who to cobine these two…. sometimes after training i dont want to eat at all, but i know that if i don’t, later that day i will be starving ending up eating everything pluse my coach tells me that i have to eat some food in particulare times trought the day… i love running and i love being free-eater but how i will do this? thank you so much !
Hi Pegy
This can be a tough situation especially when you are just beginning intuitive eating. From my experience – I avoided strenuous exercise for the first year because I found it very triggering. Even now, I tend to stick to things like dance and yoga that does not put too much strain on my body.
it is ultimately your decision – just listen to your body and try to really hear what it needs.
Nina
hi Nina!
first i want to apologize for my bad english. I wanted to thank you.. you inspire me to keep going and not to give up. Ive beve been suffering from bulimia, anorexia, and emotional eatings last 2 years.. at the moment im recovering…. at the begining i didn know how to get better.. soo i tried meny methods. i tries excerising, “eating healthy”, veganism, telling familie and friend, tereapist an soo on, but everything lead to binges…. i realised it was still my ed… then i found your blog and videos… it was like light at the end of the tunnel… i was scared but i tried… and over time i saw that ive become more and more better… at the start of intuitive eating i was strugleing whit ED voices.. still i was counting calories, restricting myself i wasnt trully honest and intuitive with myself.. so at the end of the weeks i was binging my face off… i tried itried and i tried to be more and more intuitive with foods.. but binging didnt leave me… so i thought that i wasnt doing something right.. i i was right… after looking back and thinking i realised that i wasnt trully letting go my disorder… soo finally i thoght i want to bee free to be normal.. for cople of months ive been trully eating intuitively what and when i wanted, and finnaly i feel awesome. i love life i love myself and how i look.. finnaly i am letting go… an so here comes my big question… i been trully intuitive, happy and life is awesome again, but why i keep binging at the weekends???? why??? sometimes they are bigger sometimes not so big, but still a binge… my feelings are different.. i dont feel ashamed anymore.. but still.. why.. is it just a habbit.. why, why? why??? did you stop binging at once when you started intuitive eating.. after how long time your binges stoped??? what did you do???
plese help??? and thank you for inspiring me and others.. you are the light
Dear Nina,
I have a question, which if you had time on one of your Q & A sessions, it would be great to hear what you think.
Firstly I want to say thank you so much, I have struggled with various eating disorders for around 10 years and I haven’t binged for a month now since attempting to follow your advice. This for me is huge, so I can’t really thank you enough…
However, I would say the one thing I am finding the hardest is getting rid of the preoccupation with my weight. I am a very healthy average weight for my height. But I used to be thinner, I have put on around 1 stone in the last year and I just feel HUGE most of the time. Since following your intuitive eating method and getting in to the ‘recovery zone’, I haven’t weighed myself, I haven’t counted calories, I have tried my hardest to not focus on whether I could actually be losing any weight, I’ve basically completely tried to let go of it all as I know that 10 years of self sabotage has not got me anywhere, and I absolutely have to do something drastically different. And yes, I do feel happier, and a lot more at peace and just generally better, which is amazing.
But I can’t seem to get rid of the thoughts of thinness equating to success and attractiveness and that my life would basically be a whole lot better if I were to lose some weight.
I look at photos of myself and feel so ashamed, and I feel like I was a better person before when I was lighter. I know that this is completely illogical really, but I feel like this is the one thing that is holding me back. The thing is also that when I was a stone lighter I did feel a lot better about my body…..! I feel like I am in this catch-22 cycle.
Will this get easier with time/is it just a process of learning to love my body as it is/is it ok to want to look better and how do you go about that without getting trapped in the eating disorder? I feel kind of like I have had this really good month of listening to my body and shutting off my mind, but now all the thoughts are creeping back. Maybe I was secretly hoping I would have lost some weight with all this…
Thank you so much for your time and your support.
What you are doing is amazing.
Poppy from London
Hi Nina!
I have a question for you.
But first, a little backstory. So I am a binge eater/bulimic finishing up my first at college away from home and I’ve had a whirlwind of a year in terms of my ED. Last fall, things became so overwhelmingly horrible with all the freedom and food that exists in the university-lifestyle (and my consequential endless binging and purging) that I finally decided to take advantage of the counseling services offered on campus to get some help. For a while, things were great. I had already told my parents about my binging issues the spring before and we had been working through some recovery books over the summer so I decided to be upfront with them about my seeking therapy (though I did not tell them about my new purging addiction).They were extremely supportive, which was great, so I ended up telling my sisters, toom about my bulimia (in its entirety) in an effort to push myself along in recovery. However, at the start of spring term, a number of issues arose and I came to the sad conclusion that I am actually not at a point where I am willing to fully leave this ED behind. This resulted in my therapist’s and my own joint decision to end counseling for the time being.
Long story short, here’s my problem: I have no idea how to tell my family that I have quit therapy! So far, I’ll tell you honestly, I’ve been lying to them that I’m still in treatment and things are going great; but I really do not want to keep this up! I would like to be able to continue being honest with them in the same way that I was honest last fall. However, I’m worried that telling this news to them–my parents especially–will cause a tremendous amount of anxiety. I also don’t want to make things awkward for this coming summer in terms of them watching what I eat, if I go to the bathroom after meals, etc. I am extremely torn right now and have no one else to ask for advice in terms of what I should do. Any insight or help that you could offer me would be so, so appreciated.
Thank you Nina for all the effort you pour into helping those of us with ED’s! Your channel is such a source of comfort and hope for me. <3
xoxo,
Olivia
I’m really scared I know I’m sick but i’m i don’t want to wing weight i feel fat now i’ve been eating and a i’ve a normal weight now but the thing is that i’m not happy at all some times i want to go back to the time when i wasn’t eating and i felt skinny and some times i binge but not as regular as i did before
what do i have to do to stop hearing that little voice that tells me i’m not skinny enough ?
I really want to start loving myself but I can’t please answer me
Hi, I’m just starting out with intuitive eating and I’m really anxious sometimes… yes, about the weight. I’m on the lower end of healthy weight range and I have no intention to lose any weight, BUT I’m scared that my ‘ideal weight’ will be higher… I have no idea what my ‘natural weight’ is as I’ve been dieting/bingeing basically all my life since I was 13 or 14. I’m short and have a small frame so any extra weight makes me look chubby and I’m just not fine with it. Would you have just accepted it if your natural weight had been almost overweight/overweight? (Because it seems that you’re naturally quite thin.)
I know this shouldn’t be about weight loss… but I know many people who are naturally small and would feel uncomfortable at a higher weight, and these people are normal eaters with no EDs or diet obsessions. For example my brother, who has the healthiest relationship to food but is naturally quite skinny, gained 30 lbs because of medication and said he felt uneasy about his body at that time (he lost it naturally when he stopped taking his meds though, with no dieting)
Hi Nina,
I have recently started watching your videos and they are incredibly helpful. Binge eating is still a part of my life after four years now. I am slim and manage to hide this habit though I have now opened up to other that I do it. I therefore wanted to write to ask some questions:
The idea of wearing fitting clothes because I feel overweight is very uncomfortable, but if I am ever going to enjoy my wardrobe again, is it wrong to feel like weight loss is the only option?
Are the chemicals in processed foods a major factor in food addiction and binge eating as much as some claim they are?
And also, what I wish to understand is how do I know when I am ready to change? I want to give up all processed foods because to me it is like heroin. After trying and failing to recover from binge eating over and over, even things like porridge which to some is considered healthy is making me tip into a binge.
If I still want to lose weight, does this mean binge eating is still influencing the way I think?
Best wishes and thankyou for your videos.
Ellie
Hey Nina.
Thank you so so much! I used to live with my eating disorder and struggled with the whole calorie counting and nutrition facts in my head – your videos teached me how to simply not care anymore and listen to my body. Thank you so much !
I’ve been doing great so far, I know when I’m hungry and when to stop. But I noticed that I don’t feel hungry a lot. I used to love breakfast, but ever since I listen to my body more, I don’t get really hungry. If I get hungry though, I eat one meal (of course I stop when I’m satisfied) but usually that’s it, I don’t need more for the day. I wish I could just eat in like 3-5 hour intervals, but it won’t happen – I’m not hungry. I should eat about 1300 calories a day and I don’t get there, I’m afraid of starvation mode and the whole metabolism thing.
I feel like my hunger signals are not extreme enough.
Hi Nina,
Thank you for all your hard work and the caring you’ve put into your programs and videos and every thing else you do to help people with eating disorders. Although I’m not new to intuitive eating the way you have presented it makes much more sense and is easier to follow than anything else I have read on the subject. OK, I do have a question. I have committed to intuitive eating but I find I still sometimes have a diet mentality when i’m eating, especially at a restaurant, and I feel like I need to eat to the point of being uncomfortable because maybe I won’t ever get the chance again. Like I’ll be going on a diet but I know I’m not going on a diet ever again. I even tell myself I can have this food again whenever I want but I can’t seem to shake this mentality. What can you suggest I do? Thank you, Deborah
I suffer with IBS and have many food intolerances. I could eat anything I want up until the age of 19 then all of a sudden I got severe bloating, diarrhea and constipation. The restrictions I had to make on my eating triggered the development of my binge eating disorder. So if you say that I have to not limit anything because if I do I obsess over what I cant have, which is exactly what happens..what do I do? I eat all fruits and veggies all day..tofu etc. then night time when Im alone or at work when there is a junkfood table I binge and can’t stop once I start. Is your suggestion that once I stop focusing on losing weight and looking at food as something that is bad then I wont even want sugar when it is looking at me in the face? How long is the initial period of changing my behaviour like I know my triggers and how to avoid them but I still chose to rebel and give into them anyways. Always such a struggle.
Hey Nina,
I want to listen to my body when it says it’s full and stop eating, but since I was young, my mother always made me clear my plate because it was considered wasting food if I didn’t. So, when I make a plate I try and make it a reasonable amount so that I can eat as much as I like without getting too full to the point where I’ll want to purge afterwards, but sometimes my ‘full mark’ talks to me before the food is gone. This is where I struggle with what to do. Since there wasn’t a whole lot on the plate originally, should I just finish the plate and learn to feel ok with being a bit extra full sometimes, or do I just stop when I’m full because I need to listen to my body? How do I cope with that feeling if I am just a bit more full that I would have liked to be – or how do I cope with the guilty thoughts that I’ve been wasteful if I did just listen to my body? It’s one of those situations where I feel I just can’t win and my disorder wants to take that moment to pull me back in. I try not to let, but any advice or ideas would be great. Thanks!
Hi Jo,
Thank you for you question and also for your video response!
You are so brave to do that and I have been preparing a video for you.
My initial response is to ALWAYS listen to your body – all of the rest are just old beliefs, thoughts and ideas that you have inherited and they are not tru. They are beliefs about lack and a poverty mindset – that there will not be enough food, that you cannot throw anything out because there “isn’t enough”
But we live in a country where there is plenty of food, you will always have enough and if your body tells you later that you want more of something – then you can listen to that.
Trust and honor your BODY FIRST. Your body will not lie – it is the eating disorder thoughts that form the lies and make you will bad and guilty. Learn to ignore them and just go with what your body really wants.
I will be posting you a video response soon.
Love Nina
Is sugar cofnuses my intuition?
Dear Nina, you allways say not to be restriced and allaways allow ourselfs eat anything we wont, but i find very hard to deal with sugar. It seams that sugary staff blur my intuition and stops my from knowing what i really want and most important i never can stop eating them. I know than you say not to put rules, but i decide not to eat any sugary staf for 1 month and every day i feel stronger and very intouch with what my body needs. I feel now good about my body, more energy and many times i thing i have cravings but becase i know that i wond have chocolate i found out, 5minutes later that i wasn’t really hungry and didn’t want really a chocolate to eat (something that i woudn’t fins out if i wasn’t in that “programm” with no eating sugar).
My Q is what about sugar?
Is sugar cofnuses my intuition?
I really don’t want to get back to sugar and sweets because they make my feel bad, but i am afraid becase i can’t deal with it, how to bring peace with that?
thank you Nina, you are unique!
Hi Pegy,
So here is how I would approach it. If sugar does not make you feel good – don’t eat it.
It is just the way it is today and always be open that it may change at some point.
We are constantly growing, expanding and changing – so it is always good to be open to whatever may happen with regards to your tastes, preferences and tolerances.
Making something “good” or “bad” – or making it “permanent” will only increase anxiety and set you up for disappointment and frustration if you decide to change what you eat at any time.
Just stay open to what your body wants and always honor it.
That is the path to intuitive eating and freedom
Love Nina
thank you Nina for answering my Q!
I am so confused by this becase i always feel bad(pfysicly) when i eat it but i still have this desire for that food. So i am confused, do i want this food or not?
I don’t give in in my desire but i am afraid if i am restricting myself
keep up the good work!
Dear Nina,
I have been in my recovery for about 5 years now. my binges are far and few between and i have not touched laxatives in 2 years. my binges though are caused by my pseudo dieting and gruelling gym work out. slowly but surely after reading your e book, i am feeling closer to freedom than i have in years.
many of binges usually occur during work hours at about that 3pm period.i realise this is due to my mental and physical exhaustion from my disorder. i am exercising less and just doing things i enjoy and not for the burn.
what question regards eating at work. do you suggest i bring my lunch and snacks that i feel i might want. or is it best, in my recovery, to leave it all to the day to see what my body wants?
i look forward to hearing your response.
thanks for the inspiration
xx
I’m getting very tired of fighting every time i want to eat, or i don’t want to eat. binge eating is literally destroying everything about me, it has my life in its claws. nothing is helping i can not stop myself anymore. i don’t know what to do. I’ll try not to give up, but i don’t see myself getting better.
i have tried intutive eating books and tactics, i go to a therapist, i have tried counting calories, and simply eating what i want when i want, i have tried diet pills (ones that make you feel full, not weight loss ones) when i felt binges comming on, i have tried distraction methods. and nothing works. i ca’t stop myself. I’m only 18 years old, this has wreaked havock on my life for the past two years, i don’t want it to have the next, what 50?60? years of my life as well…
Hi Nina! I just want to thank you so much for your ebook. I think it’s amazing how you took something so negative in your life and turned it around to help other people. That’s very encouraging to me because I have been struggling with disordered eating for 7 years now and most days I’m filled with regret for giving up the best years of my life and all the potential I had. But I see from your story that everything happens for a reason. And our suffering helps us to have compassion on those we can relate to. Thank you for helping me to see a positive side to this.
But, I am SO ready to move on in life. There is so much I want to do. I want to have fun and live!!! I have to admit, starting this intuitve eating has been somewhat confusing to me. I’m not sure if binging for me is just about the food. It’s also about portions. I wouldn’t have a problem if I could just get along with one piece of cake. Even if I ate cake all day just when I was hungry and stopped when I was full, I wouldn’t be so distressed. But the problem for me is that I don’t want to stop. I want to eat 3 or 4 pieces at one sitting! What’s up with that? Even though I tell myself I can have it again when I’m hungry, I can’t seem to be content unless I have my “sugar high”. Have you ever dealt with something like this?
Hi Nina. I was just wondering whether you had any suggestions for my dilemma. A few months ago I made a decision that I would eat a full serving of a different ‘fear’ food every day until I conquered all of the foods on my ‘fear’ food list. This went well for a couple of months. I’ve now reached a point where I just don’t feel like eating high fat, heavily processed foods every day. However, I know that if I don’t do this, I won’t progress and overcome my ED. The thing is that I really enjoy eating healthy food. If I had a choice between say a cheese and salad sandwich and a meat pie, I would actually prefer to eat the sandwich, not because it’s healthier, but because I would enjoy it more, and it would satisfy my hunger. What I would like some advice on is whether you think that it’s possible to fully recover if I don’t incorporate ‘fear’ foods into my diet. Thanks, Julie
Hi Nina,
Thanks for your reply. I decided against all the reasoning in my head to go on a diet yesterday because I feel so bad about myself. As ever, I binged all day today. From what you said I realised that I’m really isolated. I’ve recently moved house and it’s in the country i.e. no one around. I’m also a student which means plenty of hours by myself doing work. I’m frightened of food and knowing when I’m hungry or not. I want to try and get into some evening hobbies or something to keep me engaged but there’s nothing going on around here. I’m almost scared to stay at home by myself because of the amount I eat sometimes. I have a constant feeling of worry, self doubt and anxiety. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Hi Nina,
I bought your book a while a go. I love the ideas that you give and I have really tried to put them into practice. I lost weight before christmas by really listening to my body and only eating when I was hungry. But, since returning to uni after christmas I have just binged and binged and binged from all the stress. I could feel a binge coming on before and I tried to do some breathing exercises and I realised I just wanted to eat because I was stressed but I couldn’t stop. I had to binge. So now I’m about 10 pounds heavier than before christmas and I feel like a whale.
Is there any advice you can give? I just feel so ruled by this thing.
Hi Kate
Great question and one that I will do a video response to.
In the meantime try an exercise
- what led to the slip
- was the weight loss triggering and did you get back into dieting behavior?
- knowing what you know now, what would you have done differently?
- what advice would you give to someone in your situation right now?
With love
Nina
Hi Nina-
I just wanted to say how wonderful and inspirational I think your site is. I feel as though my struggle with disordered eating has followed a similar trajectory as your own (anorexia leading to bulimia leading to binge eating). After struggling with disordered eating for 10 years, in and out of therapy, I made the decision to really “stick with it” beginning this past summer. I have come leaps and bounds in many ways, but still struggle with binge episodes. What I find most challenging is after I have a few “bad weeks” in a row where I notice upwards of 5lbs starting to stay on my frame from binge eating. How did you find the strength to let go of the shame of gaining weight and trust your body will return to a weight you a comfortable with while intuitively eating? I am terrified of trusting my body when I gain weight. (I find it easy to intuitively eat when I am at a weight I am comfortable with, but once the binges start and the weight gain, I find myself back in the vicious cycle….) Especially because I think “everyone will notice,” and many of my clothes (which make me feel beautiful) no longer fit correctly….
Trying to believe in a better life,
Hilary
Hi Nina,
6 months ago I found your website and read your e book and started intuitive eating. I found it really easy to start and soon found that I had no obsession with food, was really enjoying my life and friends were commenting on how good I was looking as I had lost weight.
In the last month things have unfortunately become really bad for me and I have ‘gone off the rails’ in terms of my eating disorder recovery. I moved back to my home town, went on a two week holiday and had a month off work. During my holiday with my friends I found that I was stressing a lot about my weight, looking at myself in the mirror a lot, zooming in on myself when looking at photos we took in our bikinis to see how my body looked and really analysing what I was eating, as well as saying to myself that when I get home I will begin a exercise regime – only to get home and start a 3 week binge that hasn’t yet stopped!
I started back at work a short time ago and leading up to this I said to myself ‘when I start back at work the binging will end as I will have something to focus on’ – except this hasn’t happened either, I am still binging and feeling crap about myself. This time of year there is a lot of events and parties on that I should be really excited about but instead I don’t really want to go as I know that I have put on a fair bit of weight since moving back to my home town and am feeling really crappy with myself. I joined the gym yesterday with a friend and said to myself once I start getting into a exercise routine this will put be in a better frame of mind to stop binging – but again this morning I binged on all the sweets in the cupboard!
I feel like I’m in a really bad cycle at the moment where I am focusing too much on my weight and maybe this is why I keep binging but no matter how much I try to focus on other things its like this little voice in my head pops up and tells me to binge, then after tells me that I’m hopeless!
I really don’t now what to do and feel even worse because of how good I was doing and feeling not too long ago.
Thank you Laura and Nicole for your great questions!
Check out the new video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4ua4UPmt64
And Blog Post:
http://helpforeatingdisorder.com/emotional-and-intuitive-eating/
With love and faith in your full recovery,
Nina
Hi Laura,
Thank you for getting the book and making great steps towards your full recovery.
This is a great question – is this normal or emotional eating…??
This will be answered today in the weekly Q&A so stay tuned!!
Nina
Hi Nina,
I have just read your ebook and its been a great help so far, but like Nicole above I am having trouble differentiating between what is normal eating and what is emotional eating/ boredom eating/ etc.
Do you ever say no to yourself when it comes to food? what if you want something- eg cupcakes are going round the office- and you’re not really hungry?
I’m finding this all a bit confusing. I feel like if I let myself eat whatever whenever I wanted all I would eat would be chocolate cheese and chips and I’d probably get scurvy!
Hi Nina,
I have stumbled across your website and I really like your work.
I have some questions though-
I wonder how your approach works for someone who has to restrict their diet due to health reasons. For example, I go crazy tearful and grumpy when I have sugar on a regular basis, as well as getting bloated and foggy brained. To me sugar has therefore become bad and therefore a much craved item which tends to trigger ‘last supper’ type binges.
I also wonder how you deal with talking about food, diets etc on a daily basis and how this doesn’t trigger you to spend to much time thinking about your own eating habits?
Thanks
Laura
Hi Laura!
Thank you for stopping by and I am glad that my site is helpful to you1
Awesome questions. Yes I once thought that I had a “sugar addiction” and was also in recovery programs for it. Turns out – I do not.
What happens when we ban food groups is that we become obsessed with them, eat them at times when we do not actually feel like having them – hence the tearful, grumpy, foggy brained symptoms.
Our intuition is totally out of whack.
I did not ban sugar when I started intuitive eating, in spite of always being told that I was a sugar addict. However, I did try to make sure that I ate everything that I wanted, not just last supper binge food – because, remember, there is no more “last supper”.
Full recovery means FULL recovery, where there is nothing that is off limits, you lose the obsession and eventually your mind clears and body stabilizes. That was my experience – and it works best and fastest when you truly give up the control, diets, food bans and allow your body to guide you.
As for talking about food, diets and the rest – NO! This does not trigger me at all. All I ever think is thank god I do not have to do that again. Thank god my new years resolutions have nothing to do with food, diets or weight loss.
I have a life. I have resolutions that support life, not the slow and painful death of life through an eating disorder, depression, obsession and punishing my body.
I hope that was helpful.
Please add more questions so that I can best help you! Dig deep and ask all those burning questions that are stopping you from achieving the recovery and LIFE that you deserve.
Love
Nina
Hi Nina,
I just purchased your ebook a few days ago and have been watching your videos for a while. all the infromation you are prodiving is helping me so much! i really feel like im on the right path to becoming an intuitive eating and being free of my eating disorder,however i have run into a roadbloack! i have alot of very stressful things going on in my personal life. usually these things would trigger my eating disorder causing me to starve, binge and purge. i am eating what i want but ive noticed that since the onset of the new stressors i am seeking comfort food and thinking about food more and looking foward to eating. i feel like sometimes im giving my body what it wants and then sometimes im feeding my anxiety and i dont know where to draw the line.how do i know if my body really wants a specific food (or amount of food) or if its just emotional eating? and how do i really tell the difference? I’m just very confused and scared but i don’t want to give up! please help!
-Nicole Rae
Hi Nicole,
Great question – one that many people have been asking who are starting out with intuitive eating and trying to define the line between being “intuitive” and just feeding stressful, painful and difficult emotions.
This weeks Q&A Tuesday will answer this question and give you some great tips, tools and strategies on what to do to handle these situations and really get in tune with your body.
- Nina
Hi Nina,
I have almost finished reading your e-book and I have to say that I am blown away by how inspired and motivated I am! Your words have truly given me the courage to finally let go of the ED. I have suffered from all eating disorders and tried every type of therapy/treatment/medication. I’ve never felt this confident so there’s hope I will recover completely. Thank you.
My question for you is, do you think watching TV while eating will hinder my recovery? All the information I’ve read on intuitive eating recommends eating with NO distractions, to sit down at the table and focus only on the meal. The thought of doing this makes me very anxious – I think I would be too focused on the food and I would either have to think about other things, which would be distraction, or I would be worrying about the calories, worrying too much about whether or not I was full yet, etc. I have been trying to only watch TV while eating – no computer, texting, or reading at the same time (like I used to). Did you eliminate distractions when you started your recovery? Do you avoid distractions while eating now? What are your thoughts on distractions while eating?
Hi Jessica!
Todays Q+A is answering your question about Intuitive eating and distractions…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DExhVj7TLNo
http://helpforeatingdisorder.com/should-you-distract-yourself-while-intuitive-eating/
I hope this is helpful!
Here in service for you,
Nina
Hi Nina, I’ve written you before and actually today your Tuesday message was my e-mail. Thank you for answering and helping me understand that weight loss has to NOT be part of my Recovery and that I need to just trust my body to get to where it needs to be.
I know this is part of my eating disorder’s “all or nothing” thinking, but I’m struggling with how to learn to be a “normal eater”. Do I have to be on full alert all the time? That doesn’t sound right, but just “letting go” isn’t quite right either.
The last couple weeks I’ve been under more stress than usual and have just tried to not think about my eating disorder at all but I’ve been over-eating and having the urge to eat when I’m not hungry. I’m just trying to get thru this bad spell, but it’s pretty miserable right now. Nina, thanks so much for listening and just being there. I won’t quit and I will recover.
Colleen
Hil Colleen,
Yes that Video was for you!
I am really sorry that you are going through a tough time, I know exactly what that head space is like and it seems impossible to break the cycle.
But just remember that victory belongs to the most persevering. If its tough now, it WILL pass… but there also needs to be positive action taken on your part no matter how you are feeling, otherwise the eating disorder has you nailed in the misery.
Overwhelming positive action is the key, and like I mentioned in the video, you can begin again, at any moment, at any time. There is no failure when it comes to this disease. It just takes strength and courage to stand up in the face of that misery and adversity, but I know you can do it. You keep showing up, writing, asking questions – you are already a winner… do not let the eating disorder head tell you otherwise.
As for normal eating – I just had to practice, practice, practice.. and have a whole lot of patience with myself. Also avoiding anything to do with weight loss and distracting through being with people, writing, work etc helped a lot. I had to get my mind OFF the food and weight – and sometimes we have to force this initially.
Hope that helps,
YOU WILL Get to a place of full recovery,
Love Nina
Hi Nina,
I started intuitive eating a few months ago and in terms of my ED I have made huge improvements. I rarely binge anymore and in general I have much more control around food ( I can actually keep chocolates, cakes etc in my house without feeling I need to eat them all in one go). Unfortunately however, I have recently found out that I am insulin-resistant and this is playing havoc on my hormones, mood (in particular) skin, etc. I have now been recommended to ‘control’ my diet – not to loose wight or anything like that but rather to help with my mood, skin problems and hormonal dysfunction. This basically means for me that I now have to really control the amount of carbs and simple sugars I eat (i.e. basically avoid then). – Just to add again this is totally for health reasons (both physical and psychological) rather than being any kind of diet to loose weight. I am so worried about doing this due to everything I know about diets – but on the other hand have been feeling REALLY bad the last couple of months due to my other symptoms and there is clear evidence to suggest that for my condition I should be monitoring my diet in this way. What are your views on this? Should I be focusing more improving my health at the risk of triggering my ED and only eating certain ‘approved’ foods again? – I am really unsure what to do.
Thanks
Hi I have just started the Intuitive Eating approach 3 weeks ago and have allowed myself to eat whatever I want. I have been trying to listen to my hunger but have been eating biscuits, slices and chocolates and have no desire for anything remotely healty besides muesli. The problem is that I have already put on weight and it is making me anxious and I want to go back onto a restrictive diet again. I am average weight for my height but am terrified or putting on lots ofweight and then not being able to lose it. How long will it take for my body to start settling down and wanting proper food
Thanks
Hello,
I am currently recovering from an eating disorder vfrom loosing 1/4 of my body weight in roughly six months. I went to an adolescent doctor since I wasn’t menstuating and the dietitian their put me on a 2500 calorie diet since my exersize can sometimes total out to 10 hours a week, 5 in which are vigorous swimming. I am quite paranoid to go on this diet since their is still that truely restricting, anxiety part of my brain that doesnt want to gain weight, even though I have to. Any tips on how to handle this kind of anxiety?
Thank You
So you probably don’t get many guys asking for help, but I’ve delt with anorexic, bulemic, and currently binge eating disorders. These problems started about a year, maybe a year and a half ago, and I’d like to get control before they get any farther. It all started when i began to play football my junior year of high school. I was a pretty overweight kid, but I had a drive and determination to better myself, so I could finally be happy and comfortable with myself. I’d go to every workout, lifting weights and performing cardio almost daily, even doing extra work after practice. I started to watch what I eat and the results came fast, I started to shed pounds like fur. This led to me obsessing over weight loss, and thats where the anorexic behavior began. After restricting myself for so long, i began to binge almost nightly, and when i moved out on my own, binging and purging consumed my life. Recently, i mostly binge without purging and have givin up on excersise. Throughout this I have gained weight back, and it is a major stressor. Today I have decided it’s time to take control back, which leads me to my actual question. I understand your points about not letting dieting get in the way of recovery, but eating healthy and excersicing makes me feel happy and confident, and both are habits I would like to have in my life even after recovery, so do you think it’s possible to still have some focus on those two aspects while still working to become an intuitive eater?
Hi Nick!
I absolutely know for a fact that this disorder affects guys as well!
Thank you for your question and today’s Q+A Tuesday is dedicated to you!
Stay tuned….
To you freedom and recovery,
Nina
Hi Nick,
I hope you enjoy this Q+A regarding your question!
http://helpforeatingdisorder.com/eat-healthy-and-exercise-while-recovering-from-an-eating-disorder/
http://www.youtube.com/helpfored#p/u/1/DKKRlvxVp_U
Always remember… never, ever give up and a true champion is someone who gets up even when he can’t!
Complete recovery IS possible and you can eat and do whatever you like. That is true freedom.
Love and complete freedom,
Nina
Hi Nina
I have been for the past 2 months eating reasonably well but now i feel the restrictions creeping back the counting and not having what i want when i want.
The fear of overeating and becoming massive seems to be back in my mind again.
Please help i have been restricting etc for 13years and to say i am sick of it would be an understatement.
Julie
Hi Nina,
I just wanted to ask what your thoughts are on keeping a basic food diary. Not counting calories or carbs or anything. Just on what you are eating.
Do you think it can still keep you focused on the food and feel like a diet? I am really trying hard to stay away from all the diets/plans and work with my body. Any advice on this subject would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for a wonderful, very different site.
I am fighting a eating disorder. I eat when I get upset. I want to overstuff myself to not feel anything. I then think I’m getting fat and that no one will talk to me because od the all the judgement going on and that my husband wont be happy. So I skip meals at least 2 meals a day for at least a week if not longer. I also skip meals because I’m afraid I will not stop eating. My feara are stronger than my confidence and I don’t know how to control it. I don’t like to lose control and I’m afraid of that. I’m pushing so hard to not be my mom I am hurting myself. Any advice to help me?
Hi Nina,
I have let go of my restrictive eating in hopes of minimizing binges and been giving intuitive eating a try for about a week and a half now. I know that this it is still a work in progress but I can feel my pants getting tighter and tighter and it is freaking me out! I know the ultimate goal is not about weight loss, but it is SO hard for me to let that go and the fact that I can actually feel myself gaining weight is so discouraging. It is particularly hard because while bingeing and restricting, my weight was fairly stable–it was just the mental stress of bingeing that was really getting to me. It’s really hard for me to believe that this will work out for me. I am losing faith in myself. Am I approaching this the right way?
Maya
Hi Maya,
It is so normal for you to be confused and terrified after only trying this approach for a few weeks. Remember that it takes time for our bodies to readjust and to learn to trust that they are not going to be hit with another diet.
This is just the process that you need to go through to bring into alignment your body, mind and spirit. It WILL change and the more you persist and fight off the eating disorder thoughts and weight obsession, the faster you will see results.
You must have been in a bad place to try this approach even though you say your weight was stable. It really isn’t all about the weight is it? The mental repercussions and far more damaging and you end up living your life with no freedom or joy whatsoever.
If you can, persist. You are doing great for even having the courage to try!
All I can reassure you is that I have been eating this was for several years and have complete freedom and recovery. My weigh is where its supposed to be and it doesnt fluctuate, nor do I think about it.
Stay in touch and keep asking questions and reaching out for help. That is how we get help and solutions.
Nina
See that is the problem with “diet backlash” – you end up gaining back all the lost weight, and more.
That’s great that you have stopped the binges for 2 months.
It will end, your body has been through hell and just needs to recalibrate. Be patient, treat yourself like a child and my suggestion is to avoid all restrictive food plans. For every diet there is an equal and even greater binge and weight gain.
Nina
Hi Jamie,
The fact that you have the desire is fantastic! That is a huge first step. Of course the initial phase is the most difficult and requires a lot of trust in ourselves, our bodies and the concept of intuitive eating.
Have you read the Beginners Guide to Intuitive Eating?
http://helpforeatingdisorder.com/beginners-guide-to-intuitive-eating/
Start slow, be patient with yourself, allow yourself to make mistakes and realize that you are making a HUGE lifestyle change not just a quick fix. This change is permanent and means complete freedom from all the obsession with diets, food and weight loss.
Please ask me any other questions that you like.
Nina
I went off a very rigid food plan 7 monthes ago and I gained alot of weight and now I have stopped the binges and restricting for at least 2 monthes but I am still having severe bloating and it is a real trigger. I wonder if this will ever end. I do have a therapist who keeps telling me to be patent but it’s really hard. Do you have any insight on that?
Hi Nina, I really want to stop dieting and start eating normally, but I have no Idea where to start, I dont know how much to eat or when to eat, and I have to plan it all out, I can’t just eat when I am hungry, and the more I think about it, the more likely I am to binge eat. Where do I start?
Hi Jamie, you can also download the FREE ebook – Becoming an Intuitive Eater:
http://helpforeatingdisorder.com/intuitive-eating-free-ebook/
Hi Nina, I really want to stop dirting and start eating normally, but I have no Idea where to start, I dont know how much to eat or when to eat, and I have to plan it all out, I can’t just eat when I am hungry, and the more I think about it, the more likely I am to binge eat. Where do I start?
I would love to just “let-go” and forget all of my dieting. I have never been a purger, but I have been a binge eater for the past few years now. I want to have a healthy relationship with food, but I also don’t completely like the body I am in now. I was wondering, does drinking change the situation a bit? I am a college student and I often feel that binges associated with being drunk are different than ones that are simply triggered on a day-to-day basis. Do you go out and drink, and if so, did your drunk binges stop after you became an intuitive eater? Also, if I keep exercising while being an intuitive eater, will I most likely lose weight like you? I am by no means overweight, but for the past few years I have wanted to be 15 pounds lighter.
I look forward to hearing from you, your posts are inspiring!
Hi Alisa,
I know its is difficult to just “let go” of the dieting. It is something that has been programmed into our minds and we almost don’t know who we are if we are not dieting or trying to lose weight in some way.
Just take it slow, you do not have to be perfect at it and just stay focused on being a recovered intuitive eater. You are asking all the right question and obviously have the willingness to recover.
As for drinking – that was a huge binge eating trigger for me in the past. But I gave up drinking even before I recovered from eating disorders. If you find it too difficult to not binge after drinking, then maybe just lay off the booze for awhile until your eating gets under control.
I actually did not exercise much at all when I started intuitive eating. I knew that this would trigger my obsession again. You have to remember that the goals is NOT weight loss, its freedom. Once you really understand that things will be much easier.
Thanks for getting in touch!
To your freedom and recovery
Nina
Im scared that if i “let go” i will pile on alot of weight and ill eat too much? I have no idea how to be without restrictions. Please help
Hi Sarah,
The most important thing to realize is that it takes a little bit of time for us to regulate our bodies and find what works for us. Be gentle and patient with yourself.
Start by writing a list of foods that you actually like, and then try to incorporate at least one of them each day.
From my experience, I did not put on any weight once I let go of restriction. In fact, I lost weight. As well as losing the obsession.
My mind was freed up to do other things and so I seemed to want to eat less. That was my experience and I hope that gives you hope.
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